SMELL LIKE SWINE
Have you ever seen a windmill farm? If there ever was a way to blow this up and turn on the windmills, you'd have bacon scented cities, town, country's. THE WORLD!!! What are we doing today Pinky?!?!?
AUTO PET PETTER
Poor kitty gets no love. Be nice to your pets or else!!! YOU SUCK PARKING CARDS
You'll definitely need these if you're ever driving through Iowa, Virginia, or California. And remember, the left lane is for passing only. C'mon get it together.
SUBTLE BUTT
Can I get on a subscription?? I can think of sooo many flavors!!
NOVELTY HAT
You're a special kind of stupid. You're an adult. Stop it.
NOVELTY PIECE
Again, gun to our heads. Sorry folks!
HOT FUDGE
Stupid sells. You'll see a lot of this on this site.
FINGER HORSEY
This totally makes sense. Not like the 5 fingers above! If you own this, you should be in some kind of database.
PRIVATE CLEANER
Wee Wee Kleener for your Pee Pee so it doesn't smell like stinky tofu. It's a real dish.
BACK TO THE FUTURE FLUX CAPACITOR
The Flux Capacitor just keeps on giving. Move your backseat and put this in.
GROW A GIRLFRIEND
Listen, if you ever decide to go your own way or just need a backup fun pocket, order one of these. For the good times and bad! She'll still ignore you HA HA!
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BACON GUM
Let's say you're on this awesome date and it suddenly takes a turn for the worst, order some onions & garlic, pop a couple of these and exhale with everything you've got. Voila! You're welcome.
911 EMERGENCY UNDERPANTS
Give one to the groom and all his men...just in case. Perfect for blind dates. Remember Janet Jackson on the movie Friday? LOL
BIG A$$ CYLINDERS
Please tell me they ship this without any labels on the box. Doesn't this make you think of 7-11? Thank you, come again!
50 SHADES OF CHICKEN
We've never read the book or watched the movie. But there's just something about that chicken (head) being tied up. Look at all that juice...
TESLA WATCH
Tesla was a genius, man. Why is he erased from history?!?! WHY!!!
KAKA HAT
Don't be a poopy head or $hit-head.
ALASKAN SALMON PILLOW
I wonder if your cat would try to eat this. You ever wonder why cats love fermented fish. It just smells like old vahinas.
MUSIC WHISTLE
Put it in your mouth and make some music, yo.
STAR WARS TOASTER
May the toast, waffles, and English muffins be with you.
BACK TO THE FUTURE MR. FUSION
After you install the Flux Capacitor, then mount this on the trunk.
MARY JANE IN A CAN
Please don't smoke this. Smell it, sniff it, lay it out and call the cops (CA cops don't care), pass it around, or just put it on the shelf. Sticky Icky... NOT.
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DELICIOUS EAR WAX KIT
Happy Anniversary, Honey. I love you! Oh, I'm sorry, you wanted a trip instead?? SUCKER!!!!!!
OLD ZONE BARRICADE
Make a big necklace out of this and hang it around their neck. Or mount it on their car.
TEABAGGER
Put it in Bob's coffee cup. Word to your motha.
NOVELTY HAT
Yes, please. Side of nachos too and don't talk to me. Just Shhhhhhhh.
NOVELTY BUTTON
There was a gun held to our heads. We didn't want to BUT we had to. Why would a woman ever force me to post this? It makes no sense!
STEAMY PIGGY
This is weird. But kinda cool. But weird.
FINGER PUPPETS
WTF?!?!
THANKSGIVING POSSUM
It's a smorgasbord of rodent delights fresh from nature. Imagine if the postman lost this. Uh, hello CS, my creamed possum failed to show up...
BREAKFAST SANDWICH MAKER
I hope this is non-stick because it'll be a nightmare to clean!
BACK TO THE FUTURE PLATES
Put this on your Kia!
FARTING BANK
You get the best of both worlds. You really do. You drop some bread and you get some hershey squirts without the smell. FYI - smelling farts cures Cancer.
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